Why I Should Not Allow My Father to Transport Me To, or From, the Airport.

Dad: "So, honey, how are things going in New Or-leens these days?"
Me: "Fine! Great."
D: "All those houses getting put back up and everything?"
M: "Yep."
D: "Good. I'm so sick and tired of all these people whining and complaining about how the city needs this that and the other-"
M: "Well, the oil spill feels like the beginning of the end for the area, to be honest."
D: "What? You gotta be kidding me!"
M: "It's pretty bad, Dad."
D: "And here's where everyone needs to get their facts straight, honey. Did you even know that this same sort of thing happened in Mexico about ten years ago--you probably don't even know, because nobody ever wants to get their facts straight--and they got it all cleaned up, like it never even happened. Besides, there's no oil on the beaches, people are just getting all hysterical. Those liberals make everyone all worked up about stuff that isn't even happening."
M: "There's oil on the beaches, Dad. And in the swamps and in Lake Pontchartrain. You should come down and see it."
D: "You know what really gets me mad? That everyone* overreacts to this supposed 'disaster' and they shut down the oil wells and the drilling and that just makes me crazy. When are people going to wake up and realize that we cannot survive without oil? When are the people in New Or-leens going to wake up and realize that their whole economy is going to go down the tubes with the drilling stopped?" (snickering) "It's just unbelievable, man."
M: "I don't think the people of New Orleans passed the moratorium on drilling, Dad."
D: "Well, it's just a good thing you've got Danny Jindal for your governor."
M: "Bobby Jindal."
D: "Bobby Jindal is a good man, a man of the people, a good, conservative Christian man. If they would have let him do what he wanted to do when this whole thing started, you wouldn't have the mess you have right now. Uh-huh."
M: "Jindal is not a hero, Dad, trust me."
D: "Well, you probably don't have your facts straight. That's the problem these days. Nobody wants to hear the truth, nobody has the facts straight."

* In Dad-speak, "everyone" is code for "Barack Obama."

Things My Daughter Has Started to Say After Graduating Preschool, Attending Day Camp, and Spending the Month of June in Another Parish

1) "It poured and poured this one day at camp. Did ya'll get much rain here?"

2) "I have impeccable manners."

3) "Why are you looking at me like that? You're making me feel about 3 years old."

4) "Evan, mind you don't drop that heavy book on your foot."

5) "Can you tell me what time it is? My watch is a bit off."

6) "What do you say we put chocolate chips in the zucchini bread? That would taste fabulous."

7) "So the girls and boys are in the same groups at the JCC? That doesn't seem like a good idea."

8) (Looking at her baby photo book) "So...guess you didn't get any good shots of Hurricane Katrina?"

9) "You know, boys just get handsomer and handsomer as they get older."

My New Favorite Web Site

http://theoatmeal.com/

Read it, bookmark it, be prepared to laugh your face off.

Tortoise-X @ Audubon Zoo

Tortoise-X @ Audubon Zoo
Originally uploaded by Cade Roux.

Turtles get busy in the Discovery Walk.

Coming down Monkey Hill

Coming down Monkey Hill
Originally uploaded by Cade Roux.

Evan discovers the waterfall at Monkey Hill

Evan in waterfall at Monkey Hill
Originally uploaded by Cade Roux.

Big Girl!

This morning I dropped Sydney off at Kid Cam in St. Charles parish, where she'll spend the next 4 weeks. In walked my baby girl in her over-sized camp t-shirt, clutching her bright pink lunchbox, into a cafeteria full of loud, writhing, pre-pubescent strangers. My original plan was to stay for the hour-long orientation session--I had arranged my work schedule around this plan--but I soon noticed that all the other parents were scooting off after quick hugs/kisses/admonishments. Not wanting to be that Mom, I sat Sydney down next to a sweet-looking girl who seemed close to her age, gave my baby a hug and slunk off to one corner, where I hoped to avoid the appraising eyes of the camp staff (okay, okay, so I am that Mom, so what?). After watching Sydney sit quietly and watchfully subdued for a few moments as the camp staff discussed rules and said a few prayers (and feeling a bit hedonistic as I looked around and realized that my child was the only child not successfully performing the sign of the cross), I blew her a kiss and slipped out the door.

I made it to the parking lot before completely losing my shit. I'd call that a success.

And Sydney had an AMAZING day: when I talked to her later she told me all about the 2 friends she made, the nice "teachers," the FIELD TRIP they took where they RODE THE BUS to go ROLLER SKATING and where she fell down a lot and it hurt but still, it was FUN. She told me that she made sure to eat her sandwich and fruit before eating the gummi fruits I'd packed as a treat. Nana and Papa picked her up and they went to the library and got a snoball. Life is good for my baby, on her first day of camp.

I'm so proud of her.