Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Situations I Would Like to Avoid

1. While stuck in traffic I become enraged at another driver; I proceed to scream obscenities at said Driver, I give Driver the finger and honk my horn in maniacal fashion. Driver's face comes into view and I realize that Driver is a therapy client.

2. Sydney has a tantrum in the middle of Whole Foods wherein she manages to take down an entire display of jarred pasta sauce. As I kneel beside her flailing figure, covered in splattered sauce and pleading with my child to please calm the fuck down, a fellow shopper walks by and I realize that it is one of my therapy clients.

3. After a particularly vigorous workout I retire to the gym's locker room, where I proceed to change back into my street clothes. I am naked for a brief moment, as is the woman at the locker next to me, who I suddenly recognize as one of my therapy clients. *

4. After utilizing a public restroom I neglect to wash my hands. As I push open the door I realize the woman standing at the sink is one of my therapy clients.

5. I am nursing Evan on a bench in the mall when he decides to pull away from the boob to look around. A stream of breastmilk shoots in an arc above his tiny head, puddling on the bench beside us. As I lean over to wipe up the milk, breast exposed, a therapy client walks by. *

6. After one too many glasses of wine at a wedding (or other social function), I hit the dance floor with an uncontrollable urge to bust the Funky Chicken. Guess who's watching from the other side of the room?

* Already happened.


Emmy said...

LOL! I used to feel the same way about seeing my adolescent students around be avoided was "Dressing too scantily for the evening, standing in line with a bottle of wine and a pack of cigarettes, behind one of my students..."

It's tricky being in that kind of role, but the situations you describe just make you delightfully more human to them I'm sure (however awkward for you).

Emmy said...

Will u write about the race?

Kim & Joe Justice said...

Hilarious and every therapist's nightmare. I am constantly running into patients when ... Ian is misbehaving (not good for a child psychologist's business), I leave the house without taking a shower, doing my hair, putting on makeup etc., and any embarassing situation.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.